That Sunday

Mama’s Sunday hat fit tight across her forehead. It was a big one, white with lace and flowers. I told her I thought it was a bit much, but she told me she “gots to look her best when in front of da lawd.” Never understood that because somebody told me that the bible say come as you are. To me that mean you can come with stank breath and underwears if you want to. But Mama always made us look our best come Sunday. She didn’t want nobody to think she had un-kept children. Our dresses would be steamed pressed and each bow or lace neatly tied. She’d brush our hair up to the top and let the curls fall. Molly, my older sister, put chemical in her hair bout 3 weeks ago without asking Mama. Now her hair is as straight as Marylyn Monroe’s, just dark brown. Mama had a fit when she saw it. Took a switch to her behind, yes lawd. Molly pretended it didn’t hurt, but I saw the bleeding whelps on her thighs. Molly always did stuff she wasn’t supposed to, like sneak out to parties and cut her skirts short. One time she even stayed out all night and didn’t show up until the next morning. She told mama she slept at Missie’s house, that’s her best friend, but rumor say she slept down at the lake with Leroy Thompson. He was the star black quarter back at Lincoln High. He was fine too. All the girls wanted him, but he for some reason, seemed to take a liking to Molly. Molly was real pretty too. And she had known it since she was born. Mama say everybody used to say “My! Now look a’dare at dat baby. She shole is pretty!” The older she got, the prettier she got. She had hips and thighs and breasts, but not too much. Nah, she wasn’t plump, she was slender and nice with curves in all the right places. I was always jealous. I would ask her about her body and she said I was weirding her out. I used to tell her I couldn’t wait until I got my body so all the boys would want me too. When I said that, she gave me a harsh look and grabbed my mouth. “Be careful what ya wish for, you hear me?” I couldn’t understand why she got upset. Other women would die to look like Molly, but that night she acted like it was a curse. Anyway, it never stopped her from flaunting up and down the street. Especially in the summer time when we hang out at the lake side in our swimming suits. Molly’s was real cute. She and Missie went all the way to Montgomery to get it. Molly said she saw it and just had to have it. It was a two piece, light green with yellow flowers. The top went around her neck, but the bottoms was too small though, if you ask me. She bought it from a white folk’s store, and they don’t have much booty in the back.
Anyway, Sunday morning, here we go. We all climbed in the car. By all I mean me, Molly, my brother Jack, my other brother Bo, and Mama. Bo and Molly argue over the front seat until finally Mama tells Bo to take the back. We fan ourselves with papers from last Sunday’s service. Mama hums gospel hymns loudly as she drives. Jack and Bo both big boys and got me pressed up against the window. I bow Jack in his side and tell him to scoot over. He pushed me back slamming my body into the door. “Mama!” I yell, “Jack messin with me again, he always pushin me into the door!” “No I aint, she lyin Mama,” he yell back. “He always pushin me and got all dat room ova there!” I yell. “She lyin Mama,” he replies, “Look at you lyin on Sunday morning. God gone burn you in hell.” Mama just keeps driving like she doesn’t hear us and keeps humming her song. When we finally stop bickering she says loudly, “Gone take ya’ll up front this morning and let them throw Holy water over the both of ya,” she says calmly. “Aw, Mama!” sighs Jack. “Mama but I aint do nothing!” I plead. Jack folds his arms in anger and leans back. He glances at me and rolls his eyes. “You always tattlin’,” he says. I fold my arms too and pout. “Especially you Jack,” Mama continues, “Gone have them put oil on yo’ head, talkin bout burnin in Hell.” “Man!” Jack exclaims as he pouts some more. “Oh yes lawd, my chillin’ gone be saved chillin’, not no wile chillin. No sir!” she say, “Gods gone trouble the waters round hen,” she says as she begins humming another tune. Molly sits in the front with her elbow resting on the door. Her hair is long and pretty and stretches down her shoulder to her arm. She is staring out the window at stuff we pass by, not making a sound. Sometimes I wonder what she’s thinking about when she’s so quiet. “Close your legs Molly,” Mama said, “Lady aint supposed to sit with her legs open. Don’t look right and causes trouble.” Molly rolls her eyes and crosses her legs. When we make it to church, Mama goes around saying good morning and God bless ya to everybody. Me and Jack stand on the side and laugh at Mama’s hat and other women’s hats too. We laugh at Rev. Jeremiah’s wife. Her dress looks like a clown suit, bright yellow, orange, and red. She has a flower about as big as her head behind her ear, and she hits folks with it as she turns. Bo never does talk much, so he just stands up against the wall and watch everybody. He sees us giggling and scolds us. We keep on laughing anyway. When we point out Deacon Johnson wore two different shoes again and Bo starts laughing with us. Molly is over near the back pews talking with Missie and some other girls. They’re laughing and carrying on. Leroy Thompson walks in with his mama, daddy, and little brother. They sit on the opposite side. Molly’s friends get quiet immediately and glance his way. He peaks over toward Molly and gives her a slight grin. Molly acts like she doesn’t care and rolls her eyes and then leans back into her pew. The girls giggle a bit until the choir starts on up. Mama takes her place behind Sista Landry. Church is always long and boring, to me at least. Bo, Jack, and I sit with Aunt Katie. She’s our Daddy’s sister, but he’s dead now. Don’t really know what happened because nobody will tell us anything. I just know he’s dead. Pastor goes on and on bout sinning and repenting and the devil. Jack starts nodding off and Bo has to give him a light shove to wake him. I glance backwards to see what Molly’s doing. She’s looking straight at Leroy. I look at Leroy, and he’s looking straight at Molly. I think to myself, he shole is cute. Then I see Leroy wink and jerk his head to the side as if to tell Molly to meet him somewhere. I look back at Molly and she shakes her head ok. Molly’s friends giggle and Missie seems to be telling her to not go. Leroy leans over and whispers something in his mama’s ear before slowly getting up and walking out of the church. I wait to see what Molly’s going to do. Missie is grabbing her arm and shaking her head. I try and read her lips. She’s saying “not at church.” Jack pinches me. “Ow,” I say, “What you do that for?” “What you lookin at?” he askd me. I wasn’t telling Jack, he has a big ole mouth. “Nothin’” I say. “You think mama gone really make the Reverend put oil on me?” he asks in a scared tone. I start laughing. I could tell now that’s what he’s been worrying about this whole time. “I don’t know,” I say. We giggle a bit. I almost forget about Molly. I quickly glance back around towards her pew. I was shocked to see she was gone. Just her friends sat there now. I looked around and around, turning my head, but couldn’t find her. I wondered where she was at and what she was doing with Leroy. Church went on. They sang and danced. Reverend preached and danced as Sista Bertha May fell out again on the floor crying and shaking just like every Sunday. Mama didn’t make Jack go up front. But I could tell Jack was nervous the whole time. About an hour passed and there was still no Molly. I wanted to go find her, but was scared she’d get mad at me. Seems like nobody else even noticed she was gone, or nobody cared. Towards the end of the sermon, a couple of people got up to testify bout how the lord spared their life or brought them out of the fires of hell. Old man Sanders got up and thanked God that he could pee again. Jack and I giggled a bit. Auntie Katie reaches over and pinches me hard on my shoulder. “Ooow!” I say, before hushing my mouth. She gives us both that strict look. We just laughed inside. Another half hour went by. Sista Jenkins, who was sitting four people down from Mama in choir stand, gets up and scoots to the end of the row. She was a big woman and this Sunday she wore a dark red outfit with flowers on it. Her hair was pulled up tight under her Sunday hat and she had a fan that she claimed her brother brought her back from Japan. She made her way down the aisle, walking fast. We knew she had to use the bathroom. Jack and I giggled again, watching her waddle down past everybody. Reverend was preaching about how lawd giveth and taketh away when we all heard a loud “Aaahhh! Oh my Jesus!” It was Sista Jenkins. She had said “Jesus” with a passion. Everyone stopped as the shouts continued. “My lawd, my lawd, you should be ashamed of yourselves!” By now a couple of folks had gotten up to go check on her. The shouts were coming from the basement. Reverend made his way down the aisle and everyone followed behind him. We wanted to get up, but Auntie Katie told us to stay put as she got up to go see what all the shouting was about. I heard the Reverend say, “It’s alright everybody, stay back now, it’s quite all right.” “Reverend,” I heard one voice, “What’s goin on, she ok?” The reverend replied, “She alright. Just go on back to your seats and we’ll be out shawtly.” Everyone sighed, but soon we saw them pouring back into the church; all of them mumbling with confused faces. “Sista Patty Mae and Sista Mary,” Reverend said, “You can stay on down hen.” We all looked at each other with shock. “That’s Mama!” I said. Right then I knew it had something to do with Molly and Leroy. We all waited as the commotion spread. Everybody was asking the same question, what happened? We finally see Sista Jenkins coming back shaking her head and mumbling in tongues. She gets back to her place in the choir stand. Everyone turns to her and starts asking what made her shout. She just shook her head and waved her fan profusely. Pastor returned, but Mama and Sista Patty Mae never did. We went on with church for a little while longer. It ended earlier than normal and everyone was headed to the Reverend's house for dinner. “Ya’ll just come with me,” Auntie Katie said, “We’ll meet up with ya Mama later on.” As we waited for dinner we went outside to play. Jack and I were kicking an old ball around when Johnny Smith came up to us laughing hard. We looked at him like he was crazy. “What you laughin at boy?” Jack asked. He just kept laughing. “What?” I asked. “Yo sista a ho!” he yelled. Bo immediately snapped. He went after Johnny, who saw Bo’s expression and turned to run, but he wasn’t fast enough. Johnny was a meager looking boy and not much older than me. “What you say bout my sista boy!” Bo was quiet, but that didn’t mean he was shy. He grabbed Johnny by the collar. “Come on now Bo!” Johnny pleaded, “I aint mean it like that now.” We all looked angrily at him. I wanted Bo to sock him one good time. I could tell Jack did too. “What the hell you talkin bout?” Bo asked. “You know,” Johnny said. “Know what?” Bo asked. “Bout yo sista Molly,” Johnny continued. “What about her?” I asked. “How she got caught in the basement in church with Leroy Thompson,” Johnny said as if we already knew, “doin the wild thing.” Bo dropped him quickly. “What you say?” he asked. “I thought you knew,” Johnny said, “Everybody been talkin bout it. I thought you knew.” We all got quiet and looked at each other with confused faces. “You eva call my sista anotha name again and I’mma bash yo head in good boy, you hear me!” threatened Bo. Johnny shook his head in agreement and ran off. We all just stood in silence for a while. We were all mad at Molly. How could she in church? No other time or place? She embarrassed us and now everybody would think she was a ho. “Molly so stupid,” Jack finally said. “Shut up Jack,” I said. I always defended Molly. I looked up to her still, no matter what she did. She was a rebel and didn’t always do what people expected and I liked that. “Well,” said Jack, “she is. Now Mama gone look stupid like she don’t know how to raise her kids.” I looked down and played in the sand with my foot. He had a point. This was bad. “I aint even hungry no more,” Bo said. “Me neither,” I added. “I am!” said Jack. Bo and I both looked at him with mean eyes. “Well can’t I just take a plate?” he asked. Bo shrugged his shoulders. “Go on then,” he said. After Jack came back with a plate of food wrapped in old newspapers, we walked towards our house. We didn’t even tell Auntie Katie because at this point we didn’t really care. The walk was kind of long and we were all dripping in sweat by the time we got home. We walked in the door to hear Mama shouting at Molly. She was praying and cursing all in one sentence. She called Molly a dirty sinner and told her that fast women end up in bad situations like Chasity Bell. Chasity got pregnant at 16 before she was married, and then went on to have four more babies with three different men. “Mama, I’m sorry,” we heard Molly cry. I felt bad for her, even though she had messed up. “I’m not like every other stuck up woman round here,” she yelled, “I can’t sit in this lil town and go to church every Sunday and get married and pop out a dozen of babies,” she continued, “I want a life! I don’t wanna be stuck here doin nothin. Workin all day to come home and wash my husbands draws and cook his dinna! That aint me! I gotta be free of here. I don’t see why a lady gotta do this or gotta do that! I just wanna have fun and do what I wanna do. Aint no sinnin or shame in that!” Mama was quiet for a while after that. We were all scooted up against the door listenin. “My God, my God,” Mama started, “Always one bad seed,” she said, “Always one who can’t obey. I been tryin and tryin with you chile, since ya was a youngin, but you aint neva wanna do right. Neva wanna do nothin but make yo’ Mama cry and be shamed of you!” Mama began crying. “Why Molly,” she started again, “Why can’t you just do right? We women, we can’t just run out in the streets and come home like everything ok. We got duties and responsibilities that the lawd gives us. That’s just the way it is! It’s a blessin and a curse, but that’s the way God intended, so that’s how it gotta be. You just can’t seem to understand that.” “You right Mama,” Molly said, “I can’t understand. And I rather be a rotten seed than a full bloomed idiot!” Molly shouted this from her heart. We heard Mama’s foot steps approaching the door so we quickly ran into the living room and jumped on the couch. The door opened quickly and was slammed back. Mama walked out into the living room, all sweaty and teary eyed. She didn’t know we were home. She just looked at us and then walked outside and sat on the porch. By the time nightfall came everybody was in their own rooms. Me and Molly had our own rooms and Bo and Jack shared. It was late and everyone was sleep but me, at least I thought. I couldn’t close my eyes. I just kept thinking bout Molly and wondering if she was okay or why she did what she did. I had other questions too and really wanted to know the answers. I kept tossing and turning until I finally got up and grabbed my night robe. I slowly opened my door and tiptoed down to Molly's room. I softly knocked two times. I waited. Molly took no time in opening the door. She looked at me strangely. “Can I come in?” I asked. She didn’t answer, and then shrugged her shoulders to say she didn’t mind. I went in and sat on the end of her bed. She sat at the head and put her right foot on the bed. She was polishing her toenails bright red. “What’s goin on?” she asked me without looking up from her toes. “Nothin,” I answered, “just can’t sleep. That’s all.” Molly grinned. She glanced at me, “Me neither,” she said. We just sat there for a while hummin Marvin Gaye. She let me use her purple nail polish to do my nails. I tried to draw a flower on my thumb nail. “What you think Molly?” I asked as I put my thumb up to her face. She looked at it and scrunched her face. “Hmm,” she began, “I don’t know?” I looked a bit disappointed. “Here,” she said, as she turned to grab a wet cloth. “Let me show you how to do it.” She wiped off my thumb and picked up the purple nail polish. She rubbed the tip of the brush until it was skinny as possible, then slowly dipped it down in the polish again. “You just need a lil on the tip,” she said, “Too much and it don’t look right.” She held my thumb tightly as she drew a perfect little flower. I smiled and thanked her. “No problem kid,” she said as she smiled. I had so much I wanted to ask her. I wanted to know everything, but I was afraid she'd get mad and put me out. Molly had no idea how much I looked up to her. I thought she was so cool, and so did everyone else at school and in town. Not only because she was gorgeous but also because the way she held herself like she didn't care what nobody else thought about her. She didn't care for rules or traditions. She did things the way she wanted to do them. She'd wear jeans and sit with her legs spread. She'd play football every now and then with the boys. She wear a two piece bathing suit with no covering. I heard Molly even smoked from time to time. Molly was blowing her toes when I stopped to observe her. She had had a horrible day it seemed, yet she remained so cool and calm, like nothing had happened. Molly glanced up and saw me staring at her. Embarrassed, I quickly went back to my nails. "What?" she asked mysteriously. "Nothin'" I said gently as I shook my head. "What eva lil' bit, what you gotta say," she said, "Ova there bitin' ya tongue." I smiled and finally leaned back against the bed footboard. "Why you so different?" I asked. Molly stopped blowing and leaned back against the wall as if she were thinking up an interesting answer. "What you mean?" she asked. "You know," I began again, "You not like otha girls. You different." She looked like she was unsure of what I was saying so I gave an example. "You know," I continued, "you act like you don't care what otha peoples gonna say bout you when you do thangs. And you do thangs that nobody would do," I got a bit excited thinking of all Molly's past adventures, "Like when you was 15 and went skinny dippin with Kaylee and dem, or when you wore all that make-up to Bessy Weddin', or when you played nasty game with them boys a long time ago." Molly bust out laughing. "It wasn't a nasty game," she said, "It was spin the bottle, you know the kissin game?" I wasn't sure of what spin the bottle was, all I heard was she and some kids from school had played one time and she had to kiss Kirby Maddox. "You sit in a circle," she began, "And somebody spins an empty cola bottom. Whoever it stops on, the person who spinned it first gotta kiss them." A look of disgust came on my face. "In the mouth?" I asked shockingly. Molly giggled, "Yeah," she said, "In the mouth. But don't you eva play that game Kassie," she said. "Why not?" I asked her. "Cuz its not a good game for you to play. You a lil softa than me. I don't want you to get hurt or somebody take advantage of you." It was crazy to me to hear Molly say that. She did any and everything she wanted and I thought it was so cool, but then she tells me not to do what she does. I couldn't figure it out. Why wouldn't she want me to be as free as her? "I'm not soft Molly," I said softly as I looked at my nails, "I wanna be just like you. You aint scared of nothin'." Molly reached out and lifted my head up so my eyes could meet hers. "Yes I am kiddo," she said, "I know everybody think I'm big and tough, but I'm not. I just learned fast, thats all." I smiled a bit. "How you learn so fast?" Molly leaned back against the wall again. "Just did," she said softly, "In the worst way." I was confused and wasn't sure what Molly was talking about. I just wanted to know how she came to be the way she was and why she do it. "But how Molly, how the way you is and why?" Molly kind of giggled. I guess my questions seemed to be silly or naive to her. She got really quiet for a moment and then slowly began to speak. "You remember Mr. Goodly who had that farm down by Acorn street?" she asked me. I thought hard until i pictured an old farm that was now run down and dead. I couldn't quite picture Mr. Goodly though. "I think so," I said, "But he died a long time ago aint he?" I asked tryin to figure out what he had to do with her. "Yeah," she said, "he did, right before daddy." Molly got quiet. I was only four when daddy died and I honestly didn't remember much about him. But Molly was close to daddy and you could tell she always missed him a lot. "I developed fast," Molly began, "I never even noticed I was a lil gul in a grown body fa a long time. Goodly reminded me." Molly's voice began to break and her eyes watered. "One day I was out playin in a field with Missie and Kaylee. We was playin hide and go seek. I was behind a big ole' shed peekin round the corna laughin at Missie lookin fa us. Thats when he came," Molly paused. "Who?" I asked, "Mr. Goodly," she said, "He snuck up behind me and grabbed my waiste. 'Gotcha!' he said. Startled I screamed a bit and turned around. He had a big ol' grin on his face and you could see all his rotten and missin teeth. I was polite like mama taught me to be."
"Hey Mr. Goodly," I said, "Hey there Molly gal," he smiled. "You shole lookin nice today. You lookin like a lil lady, jes as perty as yo mama I tells ya." I forced a smile because I was scared a bit. I had a weird feelin'. "Thank ya sir, I gotta go finish playin hidin' go seek fa Missie get worried." I said. "I told Missie and that otha gal to come by my house and get some cake I done baked," he said, "You come on with me and we'll meet them there." It made no sense to me. I had just seen Missie lookin fa us. But I didn't wanna be rude to an adult. "Ok sir, but I jes seen Missie, she lookin' fa me and she might not know to meet at ya house," I said, "Let me go get ha so I can make sho." I turned to honestly run cuz I aint like the way he was lookin at me. As I turned Goodly grabbed my arm. "Now I said I took care of that," he said firmly as he squeezed my muscle, "So jes mind and come on with me." I was so scared. When we got to the house he called around for Missie and Kaylee. "Hell," he said, "I don't know where dem gals done gone," he said. He then smiled at me almost like the devil. "Oh well, jes you and me." He pulled out my chair and asked me to sit down. I did and waited as he cut me a piece of cake. "It's gettin late Mista Goodly," I said, "And I know Missie and my mama gonna be lookin fa me. I'mma go now." He turned and looked at me as if he were upset. But that look only lasted for seconds. He slowly walked up behind my chair and placed his dirty hands on my shoulders and began massagin' them. "Why you tryna run off from me Molly gul," he said, "You aint scared of me is ya?" Just to be polite, I shook my head no, but my body was quivering all over. Then his hands began to reach down lower. All the way down to my developing breasts. He squeezed each one in his palm. I quickly jumped out the chair and ran towards the door. Tears were already flowing down my cheek. My entire body was shakin'. Why the hell did I come here I kept askin myself. He stood in front of the door. He even looked a bit scared. "You jes so perty Molly," he said, "I used ta have a crush on ya mama, but she aint want nothin ta do with me. Then ya pa come scoop ha up anyway. I just wanna touch ya a bit, I won't hurt ya, I promise." He said as he came towards me slowly. I backed away and for every foot he took towards me, I took one back. "No Mista Goodly," I said confidently, "I don't think I'll like that." I was cryin so bad. "Com'on gul, I aint askin no mo," he said. Before I knew what happend, he was on top of me kissin on me and rippin off my dress. I screamed and begged for him to stop touchin me, but he wouldn't. He just kept touchin all ova me. Finally I felt him, I felt him push up inside me. For each time he pushed in me he said "I'm sorry," or "Forgive me lord." I just layed there and cried and fought, but it did no good. When he was done he looked at me sternly. He put his hand around my neck. "If you tell anybody what I done to you I'm gonna come kill you." I shook my head in agreement and wiped my eyes. "Yes suh," I said. "Now go on," he said. I dashed out the door, sore between my legs and ran as fast as I could toward my house. On the way there I heard someone call my name. "Molly!" Missie said, "Where you been, we looked all ova!" she smiled, "It's just a game!" When she got closer to me she saw my clothes and my facial expression. She saw I had came from the direction of Goodly's and automatically suspected he had done somethin to me. "What happened to you Molly?" she asked. I wouldn't speak, I just burst into tears. I wanted to tell but was scared to wake up one night with old man Goodly's hands around my neck. I just shook my head back and forth. Kaylee ran up. It was gettin really dark now. "What's wrong?" she asked. "That damn bastard done messed with Molly," Missie said. Kaylee's jaw dropped at Missie's language. "What you mean Missie?" Kaylee asked, "He done messed with her insides!" Missie said furiously. "Aint he Molly?" she asked shaking me. Her eyes were watering too. "Please Missie," I begged her, "I can't tell nobody or he gonna kill me." I had obviously just told. "He aint gonna kill you!" said Missie, "The damn drunken bastard can barely kill his own chickens!" Missie grabbed my arm and began to lead me home. Kaylee followed. We had to pass by the mill where daddy worked. Missie daddy used to work there too. He saw Missie and me cryin' from afar and came up to us. He saw Missie was dirty and her clothes ripped. "What ya'll done got into?" he asked suspiciously. "Daddy," Missie began in a broken voice, "No Missie no!" I yelled trying to stop her from telling. Not only did I fear my life, I was embarrassed and felt stupid for letting this happen. "Molly I gotta tell!" Missie said, before blurting out "Mr. Goodly been messin with Molly insides." Someone else heard and ran over. Missie daddy face looked surprise. Next thing I know some women gather around me and I hear folk callin daddy name. "Bobby!" I heard, "Get ova here, its Molly." I just cried because now everyone knew and now I just knew Mr. Goodly was gonna kill me. Daddy ran ova fast. and picked me up. I hadn't even noticed driplets of blood runnin down my legs, but it was the first thing daddy saw. "Let's get ya to the docta," Daddy said keepin his cool. "Wendy," he said, "Go get Mary, tell her to meet at the docs." Doctor Mosely was real gentle with me. My entire body still shook all over. "I gotta look inside there now Molly," he said. It was just he and I in the room and I was honestly scared he'd do the same thing Goodly had done and he could tell. "I know somebody mean done hurt you Molly, and it aint right. I been ya doctor since you was a baby and I aint gonna hurt you. I promise." I became a little more trusting and allowed the doctor to spread my legs and shine his light. Mama and Daddy were in the lobby with Missie parents and some otha family, but not too many. They wanted it to stay private too. I held my head down as I walked into the lobby. Daddy's face was scrunched together and red. "She gonna be alright," said Dr. Mosely, "He aint hurt her too bad, but there is some scarrin and swellin. You can tell," Dr. Mosely looked down and paused. You could tell this hurt him as well. A lot of towns people was close back then and looked at everybody like family. "You can tell she done been messed with." Mommy began cryin' and fell back into her chair. Daddy looked down at me, his little girl. He squatted down in front of me and lifted my chin up. "Who done this to you Molly?" Daddy asked with hurt in his voice and eyes. "Who hurt Daddy's girl?" My eyes watered but I didn't want to say. "Was it that no good Goodly like Missie say?" I just broke down and reached my arms out around Daddy's neck and held on tight. I didn't want to let go. I needed him to protect me from Goodly. "I'm sorry daddy," I cried, "I'm tried to fight em daddy, but he was so strong." Daddy began to tear up, "I know you did peanunt," he said as he wrapped his arms tight around me. "I told him to stop," I cried, "but he wouldn't. I screamed so loud and called for you daddy, but he just kept on goin'." Daddy just held me tight. Later that night, after everyone left, Daddy met with the sheriff and some city council folk. I was sleep in the bed and mama was strokin my hair. "We don't know fa sho if he done it Bobby," said the sheriff. I heard Daddy's face turned devilish almost when he heard that. "He said he aint do it and all we got is ya girls and her best friends word." "All you got is they word!" Daddy said furiously, "I seen the blood George! She aint even started bleedin' yet and he took my guls innocence!" "Calm down now Bobby," said another man, "You aint quite sure tho that he done it." "I aint sure?" asked Daddy, "My little girl told me it was him!" "Well sometimes kids pretend and make things up," said the sheriff. "Ask the docta George," Daddy said, "He seen fa hisself, he even say you can tell somebody hurt her! Now ya'll gonna help me or not! Or are you gonna continue to defend yo' cousin' George?" The men all sighed and looked around at eachotha. "Dammit Bobby," said the sheriff, "We just aint got enough evidence." Daddy was so angry he just spit in the dirt and walked off. I heard him and mama arguing when he returned. "You can't take mattas in ya own hands now Bobby," Mama said, "Let God take care of it." I heard Daddy's revolver roll then click. "Naw baby," said Daddy, "Bobby's takin care of it. It's politics don't you see that?" pleaded Daddy. "George tryin' to save his drunk ass cousin. I gotta fend for my family Mary. I'm the man, it's what I do. He hurt my lil girl Mary! It hurt me so bad to see her hurtin' and to know she called for me. I'm her protecta, her hero Mary. I gotta take care of this." Next thing I heard was the door swing and shut. By noon word had spread that Goodly was found shot down dead outside his barn. Said it looked like somebody had beat the shit out of him first. I knew it was Daddy and at the time, without thinkin, I was happy cuz it meant Goodly couldn't kill me no mo'. Hell he was dead himself. But the consequences were even worse. Two weeks later, the sheriff and some men took daddy into the woods and shot him too. No trial or nothin'. Cold blooded murder. I killed Daddy Kassie, it was me.
By now I was crying harder than I had ever cried before. It was like a stone was dropped on my chest. I had never known and now I knew and I almost wish I hadn't anymore. "You didn't kill him Molly," I said brokenly, "You aint do nothin' wrong. It was Goodly, not you." Molly just shook her head. "I should have ran in the first place or neva told nobody," she said wiping her tears. I realized that Molly hadn't told this story in a while, but it haunted her everyday. "That's why I don't care bout sinnin' in the church with Leroy," she said, "God ain't help me then. Instead sex aint nothin to me. Just like puttin on clothes, it's a part of life." We sat in silence for a while. "That's why you don't want no body like mine Kassie, it's a curse," Molly said, "And that's why I don't follow no damn rules. I followed the rules the first time of how a young lady should be and look what happened. You can't just do things jus cause everybody say that's how it should be done. I want you to remember that." I shook my head in agreement and said "Ok Molly." Molly dried her eyes completely. "Go to bed Kiddo," she said, "It's gettin late." I sighed and wiped my eyes as well. I got up and placed the purple nail polish on the night stand. I leaned in and kissed Molly on the cheek. "I love you Molly," I said. I never told her often, and she never told anybody honestly. "Thanks kiddo," she said. As I opened her door to leave she said, "I love you too Kassie, take care of yourself." It sounded strange, like she was never going to see me again. I smiled ever so big at those words. It felt good to finally feel accepted by Molly and know about her. She opened up to me the way I wish she would have years ago. I made my way back to my room and into my bed. I thought about my Daddy who I had barely known. Now I knew why no one ever talked about his death. They wanted to keep it all a secret. Even Molly was scared to talk about it. I closed my eyes and whispered, "I love you Daddy," and dosed off. Early the next morning I heard a car door slam hard, then a car crank. I jumped up and grabbed my robe and headed toward the front door. Bo and Jack were both standing on the front porch. I made my way past them. "Kassie come back," I heard Bo say but I ignored him and walked down the steps. Mama was talking to the person in the driver's seat of a yellow ford with Virginia license plates. She handed them some money. Mama glanced in the back seat and a tear drifted down her cheek as the car began to roll. I looked to see what was in the back seat. It was Molly. "Molly!" I screamed as I ran barefoot out towards the car. Molly turned around and looked out the back windshield and just smiled with a tear in her eye. "No!" I screamed, "Molly no, don't leave!" My mama grabbed me and held me tight and I watched the car pull all the way out the driveway onto the road and down the street, out of sight. I cried so hard and yanked my body trying to get free, like a fish on a hook. "It's for her own good," said Mama, "And yours. She could be a bad influence on you." I just cried and finally gave up my fight after realizing there's nothing I could do. Mama had sent Molly away. She wouldn't tell any of us where. I hated her for it. I grew up rebellious a bit also, but no where near as rebellious as Molly. She was right, I wasn't as bold and hard as her. At fifteen I played spin the bottle and kissed Henry Cooper. At seventeen I lost my virginity to him as well. Mama never knew and I made sure she never found out. One way of doing this was not to do it in the church. I graduated near the top of my class. Mama had a big celebration for me. Bo was married to a young pretty girl named Tara and Jack was playing football for the high school. I was laughing with Henry and some friends when I saw her. It had been over five years since she was sent away, but she had come back for my graduation. She was beautiful as ever and seemed to be glowing. Her skin was a beautiful and her hair was long and flowing. I became jealous immediately again and longed to be like her. She wore a dark green dress with a thick black belt around her center. She also wore black pumped high heels and shiny black earrings. I stopped what I was doing and so did everyone else when she walked in. I got up to run to her when I saw him walk from behind her. A little boy, about five years old who looked just like Leroy Thompson. Leroy had went on to play well in college and was even considered to be a top pick in the draft. I knew though, at that moment, he had no idea that Molly had had his son. We both glanced at each other and smiled.